My life is heading in a weird direction. Not sure if it’s in the right direction, or if I’ll have to take a sharp u-turn to get things going again. The philosophy is, whisky can fuel my complaints, and get my troubles to go away. So I’m sticking to such out thinkers.
I’ve lived a good life, from what they say. How a kid’s supposed to look forward to the summer of no rules, no parents, no nothing. I’m dreading everything. I just want my life to be put on pause. Right there with you by my side in your bed all cuddled up next to each other. I would spontaneously combust. But that won’t last forever, and you’ll be taken from my life, and make me miserable again. I mentioned this to you, and you agree that you’ll be helpless. So maybe we can just stay together and prevent the heart break.
Faithless. These inscribed pieces of shit, you’ll never figure me out because I won’t let you in. I’m done with this, and I’m not a slave anymore. I have a backbone and you’ve taught me to be strong. If I lost you tomorrow, I’d learn to be happy from now on.
So if you leave, I can figure something out. Because my life is burning out as soon as it can. Cause I don’t want to live in a world where faces change from day to day.
Decide what you want, and get back to me. Because God knows I’ll be still be waiting.
I’m nervous to the point of throwing everything up. That would just be best. Because I see red, yellow, blue but just not maroon. When choosing you over my friends gets more and more complicated, but I’m head over heels for you.
Not a second in the day goes by, without thinking of your familiar smell, your lips touching mine, and waking up beside you. These rotted floor boards arch below my feet.
I’ve made my decision on what I’m going to do. I’m just scaredshit less. You swear it’ll go just fine, but something in me makes me think you’re not truthful. I’m dazing and dozing at this very perticular moment, and dreaming of terrible things. People dying, and burning, and shooting. What of my day puts these thoughts in my mind. Something cynical.
Waking up to find nowhere to go, when it’s pouring down the rain of the gods releasing their anguish on the human occupants of this planet. What all is out there? Aliens using us as marionettes, a little flick of lint. I’m not sure what to believe, and neither are you.
This soft, slow, rhythmatic music that’s playing is making me pitter patter in my trance. I sit outside to hear the trains go by in the middle of the night, to think I might smile, but no such things appear before my eyes. My actions are irrelevant to anything in this life. Use your imagination.
I’m afriad to better myself and mind in the summer. You might not be here when I go back. So I’ll just have to be miserable for the rest of my life. It’s a mandatory thing and I just don’t want to do it.
I feel sick, nauseated at everything. Because I’m so confused on everything in this god forsaken life. Nothing goes right, and people constantly bicker and make it more complicated. Jealousy is the most wasteful emotion, but right now, I can’t even help it.
Scratching, bending, slashing, burning, denting metal. Nothing would have happened if I had done the methodical things. But regrets don’t phase a second in my life. Live, Laugh, Love and don’t regret.
Fighting has played too much a part in this relationship, and I’m not sure what to do because I’m head over heels for you. Guileless. I think I’m just avoiding the whole situation of what I want. Jealousy, past relations, futures, sketchiness, I don’t know what to do other than sleeping with my eyes open.
Just a few minutes seems centuries ago. I don’t know what’s going on internally, but I fear that it’s not gunna be good.
When I watched that movie, afterwards, I imagined every breath I took being less and less healthy for me. Blackening, dying, cancerous lungs. You poor poor organ, you didn’t ask for this and neither did I. But stress over powers my life and I go back to bad habits.
Aneurysm, plz stay away, for my sake. I can’t do without him, as hard as it may be for me to actually accept. It’s a very strong relationship filled with a lot of pain, but pain in the sense of mandatory love for matters I cannot explain. The secrets the rest of the family doesn’t know. Just looking at me, he knows something is wrong. I can’t deal with this right now. Where are you eustress?
I’m gunna hate to see you go, because I know I’ve been impossible, but you will. You’re just waiting for me to realize that you’re not that bad of a person afterall.
I’ve never got so much shit for liking someone in my life. Is it really that big of a deal that someone can make me happy? Can you not be glad that I’ve found someone? Or are you that fucking selfish that you can’t have something like this so you’re trying to ruin my shining moment so I can’t be happy either?
You’ve officially made me so livid that I refuse to talk to you until you apologize to me, and I’m not even gunna let you know I’m mad, so have fun without me. How fucking dare you?
This is why Chelsea is the only person I give a rats ass about. Because she’s happy when I’m happy. Not fucking jealous because you can’t have what I’ve got. You’ve fucked this one up.